Breaking the Timey-Wimey Stuff
by RawrDaLion
Summary: Basically a HP/DW crossover about Rose and the Doctor heading off to Hogwarts
1. Chapter 1- If the TARDIS fits

**Breaking the Timey-Wimey Stuff**  
**Hey, this is my first attempt at a story, so I am completely open to constructive criticism in reviews (and I need as much as I can get) and I hope you like it! :D RAWR!**

"But Rose, I'm just not sure that's possible, what with-"  
"Oh, Doctor, do shut up. I'm sure we won't break your precious "timey-wimey stuff"!"

Assoon as Rose Tyler had made her ridiculous request, the Doctor was instantly thinking, and if you looked close enough in his brain, you could peer at all of the whirring cogs in his head, either formulating an excuse not to go, or a route there.

When he had fulfilled his need for thoughts, he ran furiously at the TARDIS. Firstly, he studied the various mechanisms and cogs, then the control panel near the doors, and finally gazed up curiously at the lava-lamp-like centre. It's greeny-blue iridescent core gave him the chance to muster up all of his courage and place it in his two hearts.  
"We'll try it."

*Rose*  
God, that man! Recently, after battling Sontarans, the least I could do is push one tiny button.  
I really wasn't sure whether it work, my request. I mean, come on! It's pretty far-fetched, and the Doctor said it would severely damage the TARDIS's molecular structure, but I seriously think that it would just turn the pool blue instead of pink, or turn a button square. I may or may not be pushing my limit, though.

YAY! The Doctor is bashing levers and stopping thinking! I thought he'd turned into a Weeping Angel when I was uncurling my trousers to make them more baggy, or something. Anything could happen with him, it wouldn't compare to some of the ludicrous things I've seen. Now, he's completely a blur.

Next, he's pushing random buttons experimentally, and the TARDIS is whirring. It's a bit like being on an aeroplane, as it momentarily pushes you upward, or an elevator with that weird sensation you feel, like your stomach is being distorted, and a minature force of pressure is being inserted onto you, suspending you. Then the TARDIS bumps as if it were being driven over speed-bump-shaped meteors, and suddenly we pick up speed, being lobbed across space like a football at a local pub match.

Well, it's what you'd expect, going to Hogwarts.


	2. Chapter 2- Hoggy Warty Hogwarts

**Breaking the Timey-Wimey Stuff**

**Hey, anyone out there? This is chapter 2- Hoggy Warty Hogwarts! Hope you love it! But what will happen if they LOSE THE TARDIS? And if this chapter's a bit too small? Or not. RAWR! :D**

"OUCH!"

The Doctor aimlessly wondered around sobbing, ignoring the beautiful scenery, the snowy pathways, the glittering icicles and the chilly winter air sweeping snowflakes out of his hair. He didn't care.  
"Where's she gone?! MY TARDIS!"  
The TARDIS had left a box-shaped dent in the floor, before giving enough time for the Doctor and Rose to hop out excitedly, before fading out gently, leaving the Doctor in pitiful tears. How are they going to get back to their travelling home? Were they ever going to bask in the luminous heart of the controls, where all of the bizarre buttons and curious cogs lay untouched? At that time, they had no clue whatsoever.  
"Doctor, it's OK… I mean, WE'RE IN HOGWARTS! Come on!"  
After about 30 seconds of silently pleading, Rose and the Doctor left to explore the mystical halls and ever-changing mysteries of Hogwarts.

As they were walking on the snowy paths of Hogsmeade, they peered round a shop window entitled "The Three Broomsticks", and swapped their warm laughter for awe as they saw two boys and a girl in casual clothes, but there was something that stood out from the rest of people looking at them in shock, like: "Why is there a man in a pinstriped suit and a bow tie walking round with a girl with baggy trousers and a "Star Wars" t-shirt on?". No, they didn't give one about them. They were sat there, a ginger, skinny boy with a rat, a bushy-haired girl with slightly buck-teeth carrying three foamy glasses, and only for one timy second, they could see themselves. Reflected on Harry Potter's glasses.


	3. Chapter 3- OMG

**Breaking the Timey-Wimey Stuff**  
**Hey, this is my third chapter, I hope you will give it a chance, RAWR! :D**

"O…M…G! HARRY POTTER!"  
This was the first time that the Doctor had stopped in his tracks plainly out of excitement. He WAS a Time Lord, and, after his 900 years on many planets, he had seen several bizarre things that are weird enough to bewilder the plain muggle. But not the Doctor. He had fought Sontarans, visited Raxacoricofallapatorius, and even met Winston Churchill! But the one thing that well and truly stunned him was: a boy with jet-black, uncontrollable hair and glasses

Before Rose could get a word in edgeways (although even if she could've, she wouldn't have, as she was as stunned as the Doctor) the Doctor flung the door open and immediately caught the stench of beer, friendly chit-chat and all-round-good-heartedness, and fell over. Why? Because a boy with an incredibly good invisibility cloak stumbled over him, and the hood of the cloak slipped off, revealing his green eyes (the spitting image of his mother's)covered with circular glasses, average nose, thin lips and fair skin.  
"Harry Potter!" The Doctor immediately flung out his hand for Harry to shake, and he did so, cautiously.  
"Who are you?" Harry said slowly.  
"I'm the Doctor, and I can take you anywhere in time at the push of a button."  
Just at that moment, Ron and Hermione strided up to them, interrupting their conversation.  
"Harry, we really have to leave!" Hermione whispered hurriedly because they wer attracting several on-lookers's attention, as Harry wasn't allowed to be in Hogsmeade.  
"Ermm... See you around then?" The Doctor nodded politely, before Harry and the rest of the Trio headed to Homeydukes.  
The Doctor spun round, laughing and tearful, and grabbed starstruck Rose by the shoulders.  
"I JUST MET HARRY POTTER!"


	4. Chapter 4- RAVENDOR!

**Breaking the Timey-Wimey Stuff  
****Hey people, this is Chapter 4- What's a RAVENDOR? (See, it rhymes!)Hope you like it, I ACTUALLY GOT REVIEWS FOR C2! RAWR! :D**

**HOGWARTS TEACHERS- 3 DOWN, HOW MANY TO GO?**

This is what the news read when the Doctor and Rose casually walked past the shop entitled "Zonkos" and the Doctor smiled wider than he did when he defeated the Slitheens.  
"VACANCIES!" he shouted as he read that. Rose looked at him in utter confusion and he yelled:  
"THERE ARE VACANCIES!" with a gleam in his eye, the mischhevious kind you acquire when you have a devious plan, and this was the same with the Doctor.  
As he ordered 2 'apparently foreign' drinks called Firewhisky, he explained his plan to Rose:  
"OK, well, we'll apply for joint teachers, try to find about any TARDIS sightings, and go from there."  
"But Doctor, there's just one tweeny tiney weeny winey problem." The Doctor responded with a confused look and Rose said:  
"There are no vacancies!"

"WHAT?" The Doctor yelled in confusion, alarming the whole pub as he tried to avoid looks of confusion and amazement. To avoid this embarrassment, he took a sip of Firewhisky, and immediately spat it all over Rose! It was the taste, the alchohol twisting and distorting his tastebuds, so they didn't like that!

So they silently left "The Leaky Cauldron" with there heads hanging and there Firewhisky lay untouched. But the Doctor had an extremely different reason to hang his head, not in screw-upiness, but he was already formulating another plan.  
Luckily, there was a hotel in the local village, and they rented out 2 rooms with the Doctor's phsycic paper and he told Rose vividly that he was going out to see jobs. What she didn't know was that he wasn't going.  
He walked silently to Hogwarts and straight to the staff room, to ask a certain greasy-haired, hook-nosed Potions Professor.  
"Excuse me, but where may I find the new teacher?" The Doctor asked with a certain amount of innocence, but a lot of empathy in the curiosity section.  
"You must be a blithering idiot, as we have many Professors here, but if you want Alastor Moody, he is in his office, babbling on about being an Auror." Snape groaned, with his droning voice slipping silently out of Doctor's ear.

"I wonder what house he was in, Moody. Maybe a Slytherdor, or a RAVENDOR! That's it!" The Doctor was babbling to Harry, who, after yet again bumping into him, ended up having to escort him to Moody's dingy office.  
"What the bloody hell is a RAVENDOR?!" Harry questioned loudly, whilst many people cowered away into crevices behind the armor, or walked away so fast that you'd swear


	5. Chapter 5-Draco and a Meat

**Breaking the Timey-Wimey Stuff  
****Sorry it's been forever since I've uploaded, I've not had time to! Sorry, and RAWR! :D  
Chapter 5- Draco and a Meat.**

As the Doctor waltzed into Moody's office, the first thing that struck him was how normal he looked. Apart from the obvious swizzling eye and gashes down his scarred face, many fresh from the bin-incident, but how was the Doctor to know? He was too busy trying to force out his emotions of regret and grief at the terrible but necessary deed that he was about to perform. A whirlwind too forceful to resist had caught him in the moment, and now he was ready.  
He whiped out the wand he had sneakily nabbed from Snape's desk. This was wrong; he knew that. But it had to be done.  
"Hello." Moody expertly whipped out his own wand, ready to fire.  
"I mean no harm. I just wish to know something." the Doctor matched his calm tone, but knew what he was doing. He slowly grabbed his hip-flash, and played his move.  
The day before, he had (with great difficulty) concocted a Polyjuice Potion in the hip-flask Martha had bought him whilst they were visiting Van Gogh. All he needed was a hair.  
Speedily, he hit Moody over the head with a Sneakoscope, oblivious to the fact that it was bleeping uncontrollably and thought of him to be an enemy. Next, he yanked one clump of hair from Moody's already malting head, creating a fresh bald patch. He separated the hairs until one remained, and plonked it into the drink.  
He would have drank the drink, if it wasn't for a knock at the door.  
"Sir, how would I sur-" Draco Malfoy trooped into the office, but was met by such an abnormal scene, he stumbled over in surprise. He was speechless.  
"But-" was the last word he could mutter before the Doctor sat him down in Moody's chair, waving a piece of meat over his eyes.  
"You're getting very sleepy..." the Doctor said, as Draco slumped slightly in his chair. "IT WORKED!"  
But just before Rose Tyler popped up from behind the chair with a needle.

"Yes you did"


End file.
